Tina Nilsson

Kom nyss in från balkongen där jag har spenderat halva kvällen, det börjar bli kyligt om kvällarna med temperaturen strax över 20 grader. Jag tycker det är skönt att kunna bära tights och långtröja faktiskt. Tro det eller ej!!

Företaget hade Gala i måndags, det var riktigt trevligt och natten slutade med fest i Side med en del kollegor. Alla var uppklädda till tänderna och hade väldigt skoj!! Bilder kommer väl på kära facebook när jag har tid.

Trista nyheter är att andra företag börjar lämna snart. Stefanie från Fritte lämnar på söndag och det kommer bli mycket tråkigare utan hennes oinbjudna besök i lägenheten, men jag kommer hem sen och då är det stora planer som ska sättas igång. Underbara Stefanie, fin vän som ger livet det där lilla extra ibland.

Mor och far kommer ner om lite mer än 1 vecka och det ska bli riktigt roligt att träffa dom. Har planerat lite roliga saker för oss, om jag nu kan få ledigt någon extra dag. Får hoppas på att brorsan också kan få ledigt och följa med dom. Jag saknar dom. Jag saknar släkten och våra trevliga träffar. Marlene, läser du det här, så boka in mig på ett besök hos er i nya lägenheten och sedan middag och drinkar i stan!! Jag saknar min hund, min fina lilla hund som betyder så fruktansvärt mycket.

Ibland längtar jag hem som fan, oftast inte, för jag vet hur bra jag har det här nere. Men jag saknar mina vänner. Jag vill hem och titta på Isabells lägenhet, spela tv-spel hela natten med Johanna och krama Paula tills hon blir fullständigt blå i ansiktet. Jag saknar fika, bio, att ta bilen när jag vill, kyla och mörker, svenska nattklubbar (haha tro det eller ej) och alla dessa vardagliga saker som jag går miste om här nere.
Tro inte att jag är fullkomligt missnöjd. Jag har utvecklats som fan här nere och kommer förmodligen hem med mer erfarenhet i bagaget än vad många drömmer om. Men det absolut bästa är att jag är fortfarande jag, med min gamla galna personlighet!!
Jag har verkligen försökt att vara mig själv här nere, och det är inte alltid så lätt bland sura gäster, skrikande barn och helvetiska scheman med lite sömn, men jag har försökt och jag har lyckats riktigt bra tycker jag och det är det viktigaste för mig!

Dagen kommer då jag ska försöka sammanfatta en lång säsong med skratt, tårar, fest, frustration och lite sömn, men jag lovar er att jag ska försöka. Jag ska försöka få er att förstå, om inte helt, men i alla fall lite grann av hur det har varit, och jag hoppas att någon vill lyssna, för jag kommer att behöva prata och dela med mig för att ni ska förstå mina värderingar och tankar idag!!

I morgon har jag utflykt, så nu ska jag hoppa ner i säng och lyssna på Lauras natt-prat. Underbara Laura, i love her!!

LIVING THE LIFE OF A REP IS LIKE LIVING A DREAM.
You leave everything that is real behind you when you step on that plane. When you arrive, you step into an uncertain world, knowing no one, and not sure what to expect, leaving family and loved ones behind.
A world where you don’t have to worry about rent, running a car, or bills, and where you are able to walk into restaurants, bars and hotels and get free food or beer. A world where no one knows you and whatever your past you can leave it behind. A world where the sun shines daily, and where every night feels like a Saturday. Your team are not just your colleagues, but your friends and family, who will support you, as you will them.
It’s a world where people pay to come to, yet you get paid to be here.
Living in this world is not a job, but merely a way of life, where the money you earn is merely there to keep you feed and watered.
Creature comforts simply become insignificant when every morning you open your curtains and step out into a tropical climate and where a ‘hard day at the office’ often means spending your day on a boat or sat chatting by the pool.
When the season ends you get back on that plane, leaving this world behind you, as well as your friends, most of whom you’ll never see again. The plane lands and its like you awake from the dream. Back to a world where it rains daily, everything is overpriced and lives revolve around game shows and soap operas. Back to a place where people rarely smile, nothing is paid for, and you live your life fearing violence, hate and crime.
That’s when you realise when you enter the world of repping, it can sort of feel like a dream come true

For all the guests!!

.Before reading this guide, you should realize that all reps are overpaid with almost no work to do. Bearing this in mind do not hesitate to demand the attendance of your rep at any time - day or night, for anything no matter how trivial. It really does break the monotony of a reps life to be urgently called at midnight to discuss the failure of the hotel to provide fresh hand towels thirteen days into a two-week holiday. Also, having demanded your reps attendance, it helps tremendously if you go out just before they are due to arrive. This gives the rep time to admire the lounge decor (reps seldom get to see hotel lounge areas and so this 'waiting time' is considered to be a major perk of their job and is guaranteed to lift there spirits!).

Try to avoid telling your rep anything. They are all mind readers and so are able to sort out your problems without conversation. However please be aware that reps are extremely lazy and so may well do nothing. If that is the case then you are well within your rights to threaten legal action against your holiday company. In your letters be sure to state that you notified the rep on several occasions and that they failed to take action. (Being mind readers this will be quite true even if you have not been to see your rep all holiday).

On arriving in resort you will be given a lot of paper called a 'Welcome Pack'. If possible, do not read any of this. It helps tremendously if you just leave it on the coach. Coach drivers collect these together with half filled coke cans, used tissues and apple cores squashed into the ashtray in the back of the seats. As a matter of interest the reason reps give out 'Welcome Packs' is because all reps are environmentally unfriendly and have shares in companies destroying rain forests. Ditching wads of paper on guests is a way of increasing company turnover plus clearing Brazil of all its annoying trees ready for tourist development.

Usually on your transfer coach the rep will start talking on the microphone. Please pay no attention t this, most reps have a second job testing audio systems for electronics companies; so what they are saying will be of no interest or help to you. Actually there second job is quite demanding so they have to practice all the time (even without a microphone) so to be on the safe side it is best never to listen to what the rep is saying. It will never be of any use to you on your holiday anyway!!

Reps are RICH!!! Be aware of the following: -

You rep owns the plane you arrived on.
Your rep owns the hotel you stay in.
If overbooked, you rep owns the hotel you should have stayed in.
Your rep owns the MET office and is totally responsible for all weather.

Being in such a powerful position, your rep is well able to stop plane delays, prevent over bookings and in partnership with GOD can banish adverse weather conditions in an instance. The only thing stopping the rep doing this is laziness, so please do complain of your two hour delay at Gatwick airport at every chance. Eventually your rep will then go back through time to prevent the delay and you can start enjoying your holiday (once the rep has sorted out the bad weather of course).

Reps visiting times - please pay no attention these. Your rep is supposed to be in yours and everybody else's hotels at all times (plus escorting you on all trips and transfers). If not then your rep is not doing their job properly and you have the grounds to sue the company, report them to watchdog or write to your MP. If you should come across your rep during visiting times, please try not to approach them while they are doing nothing (remember the importance of 'waiting time' to the rep). If possible, try to wait until they are packing their bags and about to leave (or to be really popular, reps especially love it if you grab them just as they start there bike or car).

Reps carry a spare stock of passports, flight tickets, plus replacement jewellery, money, traveller's cheques and other important items. If you lose any of these it is totally unnecessary to let you rep know until you have reached the departure terminal. Your rep will then be able to replace all lost items (also note that receipts will not be required. As being rich your reps are happy to pay all claims out of their own pockets.)

Questionnaires - these again are just a further attempt to increase turnover of paper for the rain forest depletion. Reps also have shares in ink companies and it would also please them no end if you put ink ticks all over the forms. Anywhere will do (the far right boxes are the easiest to reach).

Please remember that guests should never speak to hotel staff, coach drivers and airport workers. No matter how trivial the problem it is far better to shout at the rep when things get worse than to actually do anything yourself. Anyway it is the reps responsibility (being the owners of everything). Hotel, coach and airport workers are actually just models for uniform and clothing manufacturers and are employed to be purely looked at.

If a rep does manage to do something right for you (which by now you will have discovered is most unlikely) don't in any case thank, compliment or command the rep. It is a bit like feeding monkeys; if you do it they will expect everybody to do it.

The last point in the guide is more of a general hint for travellers. Whilst in foreign countries some people have trouble speaking and understanding, it is often claimed that this is because they speak a different language. This however is untrue All countries speak English as a first language. The ones with difficulties are either just thick or as is more often the case, just being awkward. The way around this in the former case is to speak as you would to an imbecile or in the second case to shout and get angry. Either of these two actions usually ensures full cooperation throughout your holiday. If not and you are faced with further difficulties, and then complain to your rep about staff rudeness and arrogance. Never under any circumstances try to neutralise your own heavy/regional accent or speak slowly to locals and avoid at all costs learning any words of another language.


Follow these words of advice and you will be sure to have the 'Holiday Of A Lifetime' that you much deserve and paid an awful lot of money for. (you can tell us this too !!).